


I Choose To Love You

by Rennabibi



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Established Nomin, I still suck with tagging send help, Light Angst, M/M, best friend noren, mark and chenle are mentioned once lol, past luren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 04:03:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21173114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rennabibi/pseuds/Rennabibi
Summary: Renjun doesn't know what he hates more, Donghyuck or the concept of having Donghyuck's name permanently tattooed on his skin.Or in other words,In a world where once one turn twenty one, the name of their soulmate's appear on their left wrist and the name of their nemesis' on their right. Renjun isn't prepared to find the same name on both sides.





	I Choose To Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Yo guess what!! I am back! and with my first ever main ship fic! Renhyuck did THAT  
quick disclaimer please read: the names appearing on people's wrists are in the native language of the owner of the name! just something to keep in mind since I didn't explain it much throughout the story!  
I think that is all you need to know  
Hope you like it! LGTB

Renjun’s day doesn't start perfectly, he wakes up late, no thanks to Jeno who left to his classes without bothering to wake up his roommate. And in his hurry, Renjun attempts to take the stairs two at a time, only to trip and slip through the rest. And in retrospect, that makes him get through the stairs way faster, but as much as Renjun wishes he can focus on the bright side, the ache at the end of his back overshadows every other thought. And yet if anyone were to ask him, he would claim that his eyes are teary due to the biting wind hitting his face rather than the soring pain.  
  
Finally making it to his class, Renjun is so ready to just plop on his seat and sleep through most of it. Maybe then he won't feel the pain anymore, and no one would notice that he is, in fact, still on the verge of crying. But his self-proclaimed bulletproof plan goes to shambles when he takes sight of the person occupying his seat, the one that is perfectly out of the teacher's peripheral vision.  
  
"What are you doing in my seat?" Renjun hisses, holding into the desk for support and biting down a pained groan.  
  
Donghyuck’s lips twitch in a sly grin, his back resting against the wall and his legs crossed. "Since when was it yours?"  
  
Renjun glares at the other boy, having already murdered him 5 times in his head. "I always sit here, don't be difficult."  
  
Donghyuck shrugs nonchalantly. "Well I got to it first, today. And I didn't find your name itched on the chair."  
  
"Holy fuck, you're so childish." Renjun spits, slowly taking the vacant seat on the other side .  
  
"See," Donghyuck’s smiles widens. " that wasn't so hard, now was it?"  
  
Renjun ignores him completely, cursing under his breath when he realizes that not only does he not have the support of the wall to rest against, but he comes eye to eye with the teacher, forcing him to sit straighter and swallow down a yelp at the way his body reacts to that.  
  
Donghyuck gives him no mind, going back to doodling on the desk and humming under his breath.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Why do you look like you're ready to murder?" Jeno asks when he comes to pick Renjun from his class. The latter has messaged him to do so, in hopes of making his friend carry his bag for him.  
  
"Cause I am." Renjun deadpans, thrusting his bag in the other's hold. Jeno laughs at the way Renjun fumes, finding his angry pout cute. "Did Donghyuck breathe again?"  
  
Renjun scoffs, feeling his blood boil just at the mention of the other boy's name. "More than that."  
  
Jeno shrugs. "Hey, at least you know what name to expect on your right wrist."  
  
Renjun halts in his step, head whipping to Jeno as if the latter has just told him his grandma died. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Have you never thought of it?" Jeno questions confusedly. "The name of your nemesis, I mean. I wonder about that sometimes as much as my soulmate's name. Like I am civil with everyone I can't even imagine having someone as a nemesis."   
  
"I-I never thought about it." Renjun mumbles, and Jeno can almost hear the gears turning in his head, as his facial expression turns more and more panicked. "Wait, you mean to tell me I might have Lee Donghyuck itched on my skin for eternity?"  
  
"I guess." Jeno mutters, regretting bringing it up to the Chinese boy, and planting the idea in his head.  
  
"That can't happen." Renjun exclaims, as if he has any saying of the names that will appear on his wrists once he hits 21. "I will literally burn my skin off."  
  
"Dude, I was just saying. It might not even be Donghyuck. All your fights are stupid middle schoolers quarrels anyways." Jeno realizes how stupid he is for saying this when Renjun gives him his infamous murderous glare, and if looks could kill, Jeno would be Renjun’s second victim, for the day.  
  
"Donghyuck is in fact a fucking middle schooler, but I am in no way that. He left me to die today, okay? I don't think I'll ever hate someone as much as I hate him." Renjun then adds as an afterthought. "I fucking loath him."  
  
"How did he exactly leave you to die? If I might ask." Jeno questions amusedly, familiar with Renjun’s tendency to exaggerate. And as the latter explains to him the unfortunate events of this morning, Jeno is once again proven right. "How would he even know you were in pain? He might have been annoying, yes, but that's just Donghyuck for you."  
  
"Are you my friend or his?" Renjun mumbles in distaste.  
  
Jeno raises his hands defenselessly, Renjun’s bag still in his grasp which makes him look ridiculous. "I am not siding with him, I am just not agreeing with you."  
  
Renjun huffs, crossing his arms. "So basically siding with him."  
  
"Remember when I insinuated that you're a middle schooler? Yeah, I take it back. You're a whole baby."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It's absurd how Renjun has never thought of his soulmate nor nemesis' identities, but now that Jeno talked about it, he can't stop thinking about it. And in his attempt of assuring that Donghyuck’s name doesn't appear on him next month, he tries to not let the other boy get to him, fighting the urge to fantasize over the numerous ways he can murder him. But it proves to be hard, especially when Renjun can't seem to even stand the way Donghyuck breathes.  
  
"What's wrong injunnie?" Donghyuck asks in that fake sweet tone of his, the one Renjun despises the most. The latter doesn't even give him the satisfaction of turning to look at him, even when he can see from the corner of his eyes that Donghyuck has his cheek pressed on his palm as he stares at the boy's side profile.  
  
"Don't call me that."  
  
"Why does Jaemin get to call you that and not me?" Donghyuck whines loudly, too loud that the teacher sends him a disapproving look. "You're not even close. Heck, he knows you through me."  
  
Renjun scoffs, finally giving in and turning his head towards Donghyuck, surprising the latter, who inches back, either intimidated by Renjun’s glare, or their sudden proximity. Renjun doesn't know nor care. "All you did was say you know a science nerd in your class when he asked for a tutor. And unlike you, Jaemin is lovely."  
  
Donghyuck pouts, blinking at Renjun with his puppy eyes that makes the latter flatter for a second. "Just say you hate me and go."  
  
"I hate you." Renjun deadpans bluntly, before turning back to the board.  
  
"Wait no," Donghyuck pulls at his arm so he looks at him again. "I didn't mean it literally. You actually hate me?"  
  
Renjun turns to him, surprised at how hurt he looks. But believing that this is just another elaborate plan to guilt trip him just so Donghyuck has the upper hand yet again, Renjun nods affirmatively, ignoring the way Donghyuck’s face falls even more and how small and dejected the "okay." He mutters is.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Can you imagine that he didn't know I hate him?" Renjun snickers, slurping on the ramen he just made.  
  
Jeno has a matching ramen bowl, also made by Renjun, but instead of eating it, he's busy giving the boy, across from him on the couch, a judgmental look. "The more you tell me about your endeavors with Donghyuck, the more I come to realize that it's you the asshole in the story."  
  
Renjun chokes on his noodles, pushing Jeno's hand off him when the latter pats his back a bit too aggressively. "You're unbelievable. I have never done anything to spite him," he backtracks when Jeno gives him a pointed look. "I never start the hostility at the very least. It's always him being a pain in the ass."  
  
"I don't know, from what you usually tell me, it sounds like harmless banter. It's you who blows everything out of proportion. And now you even hurt his feelings."  
  
Renjun scowls. "He should have known. Plus either way, I think he was just surprised. I don't think he cares all that much. He will go back to his annoying self now, and I'll go back to hating him."  
  
Jeno shrugs. "If you say so."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Donghyuck doesn't go back to his annoying self. Instead, he stops talking to Renjun, and goes out of his way to avoid him. Renjun is quick to notice, it's easy when there's always a lack of stupid commentaries in most of his classes, or someone stubbornly trying to get his attention. And the boy confirms it when he sees Donghyuck walking his way, and before Renjun can decide if he should confront him or enjoy the new peace, Donghyuck has already changed directions and is speed walking the opposite way.  
  
It stops bothering Renjun at some point though, between being stressed over his assignments and excited to be going to China for spring break, the silence and peace resulting from Donghyuck avoiding him is very much welcomed.  
  
And with the lack of a certain Lee Donghyuck, Renjun doesn't think of whose name would appear on his right wrist anymore. Not even when it's about to strike midnight, the night of his birthday. He's too focused on his left wrist, as he sits in his childhood bedroom, after pretending that he was jet lagged so he can slip away from his family, claiming that he will sleep it off and check the writing on his wrists the next morning. They let him off easily, even though his mom gives him an all knowing look, probably aware of his plan but also understanding his need to be alone.  
  
It's a strange sensation, watching foreign yet permanent letters appear on your skin, bold and black. Most people sleep through the process, choosing to never know what it feels like firsthand. But the more daring ones stay and watch, just like Renjun, whose heartbeat thumps in his ears, the mixture of emotions swirling inside of him overwhelming him. He knows he's curious and excited for this, he has been since he was a child. As much as he tried to hide it, he has always been a romantic in nature, the thought of having someone destined to love you and be with you has been such a relief. And yet he couldn't fight the nervousness, anxiousness and doubt.  
  
Renjun tries to suppress it, focusing on his excitement, and the thought that the universe wouldn't let him down.  
  
And yet it does.  
  
Renjun watches in puzzlement and confusion, as the word 'Lee Donghyuck' appears on his skin. He feels his heart lodging in his throat, reading the Korean letters again and again. But it still says Lee Donghyuck, and it continues to say that through a blurry vision, and it says it again when Renjun blinks down the tears.  
  
He breathes shakily, rubbing his eyes so hard he starts seeing black spots. But even then, 'Lee Donghyuck' is still itched on his skin. Deep in his denial, Renjun somehow convinces himself that he mixed his right and left, that Donghyuck is indeed his nemesis and that's the only reason why his name is on his skin. So he checks his other wrist, expecting anything but what he finds.  
  
He expects anything but Donghyuck’s name yet again.  
  
Renjun lays back defeatedly, raising his arms and staring daggers at his wrists. He remembers how he told Jeno he would burn his skin off if Donghyuck’s name appeared on him. But he never thought of the possibility of it appearing twice. He never thought of the possibility of Donghyuck being his soulmate.  
  
"Donghyuck’s my soulmate." He mumbles under his breath, as if he just realized that fact. The words make him shudder, settling the reality deeper in his mind. And as much as he tries to deny it, pretend that name isn't there and that the implication of it being there means nothing, it's fruitless. Even when he rubs on his skin, it stays there, the skin around it turning red and irritated, but the words stay there, the red making them more apparent. And it seems like whatever effort Renjun does to reject the reality, it only makes it stronger.

_I dare u to tell me Donghyuck’s name didnt appear on ur wrist_

Renjun sighs at Jeno's message, wanting to scream in frustration.  
  
_Bet_, he sends back. '_Bet you didn’t think it would be on both sides_' he wants to say, but he would rather kill himself than admit that Donghyuck is his soulmate.  
  
He leaves his room, wishing for any kind of distraction. But also hoping that everyone is asleep and he can sneak to the kitchen and drink enough that he can't read Korean letters anymore.  
  
His drinking plans go down the drain when he spots his mother in the living room, as if waiting for this exact moment. She notices him before he gets to retreat back, and suddenly he's self-aware of his red eyes and the tear tracks on his cheeks. He wipes his face quickly, pretending that he was just getting something off it. His mother smiles at him, patting the space besides her. Renjun finds no reason to escape at this point, his need for company and comfort over-weighing his want to avoid anyone and everyone, so he joins her quietly m.  
  
He's delighted to find his mother drinking wine, and even though it wouldn't have been his first drink of choice, it serves the purpose. "Can I join you?" He asks, gesturing to the bottle, and she nods, standing up from the couch. "Let me get you a glass."  
  
They cling their glasses once Renjun pours a drink for himself, and they both giggle, reminiscing over the past when they would do this but young Renjun would have a wine glass full of juice. His mother comments on how quickly he had grown, and they fall into casual conversation. It's nice and comfortable, serving the kind of distraction the boy was searching for. Except for the fact that it's hard for him to ignore the way his mother keeps on glancing over his wrists, or the way her eyebrows furrowed at the foreign letters on her son's skin.  
  
"So, do you recognize the names?" She asks half an hour through their conversation, unable to hold it anymore.  
  
Renjun visibly tenses, pulling his sleeves to hide his wrists. "Not quite." He mumbles, unable to fully lie to his mother.  
  
She averts her eyes from his now covered wrists to his eyes, frowning in confusion. "What does that supposed to mean?"  
  
"I-I mean, I think I heard that name before. Maybe we go to the same university."  
  
"Which one of them?"   
  
"What?"  
  
"Which name do you think you recognize, Renjun?" His mother repeats slowly, as if she's explaining a basic concept to a child.  
  
"Oh.. hehe." Renjun laughs awkwardly. "The one on the right."  
  
His mother laughs, hopefully not picking up on Renjun’s odd behavior. "And who would that be?"  
  
"Euh.. Lee..Jeno?" Renjun blurts before he can think it through, realizing his mistake when it's already too late.  
  
"Wait, isn't that your roommate? I thought you were best friends?" His mother questions in concern. "I don't really know him, but he sounded lovely."  
  
"Haha, got you." The boy exclaims, grinning widely yet strained in hopes of sounding convincing. "I was just testing to see if you listen to me during our calls. The name is Mark Lee." Renjun sends his Canadian friend a silent apology.  
  
"Oh, okay. Sounds foreign."  
  
Renjun laughs tensely. "I know right. Probably should avoid him now."  
  
"What about your soulmate's? I might not know Korean but it looked kind of similar."  
  
"Oh, that's cause they have the same family name." And Renjun can't be more thankful for the fact that Lee was such a generic family name. "It's Lee Dong, euh, Donghyuck."  
  
"Such a pretty name." The woman grins widely, and Renjun agrees, mirroring her smile even though he still can feel the shadow of his tears on his face.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Renjun finds it impossible to not think of a certain Lee for the rest of his days in China. He goes from almost forgetting his existence and getting rid of every once of guilt he had for probably hurting the boy's feelings, to being reminded of him with every glimpse he gets of his wrists, and every question from his family. They question the Korean letters, and mourn the Chinese soulmate he will never have. The latter reaction rubs the boy the wrong way, knowing full well the intentions of their unnecessary comments. Reminders of a Chinese ex boyfriend that broke Renjun’s heart when the shorter's name didn't appear on his left wrist.  
  
And as unfair as it is to Donghyuck, Renjun can’t help but wonder how much easier it would be if Yukhei's name was itched on him, and how much that would have made much more sense. But seems like the universe didn’t think the same.  
  
And even though Renjun really hated the unwanted attention from everyone around him, he still dreaded his flight back to Korea. He isn't sure what he will do once he reaches there, but the one thing that he knows is that no one is seeing the names on his skin any time soon.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"You look ridiculous." Jeno declares on their drive home. "You know that, right?" He adds when Renjun keeps quiet.  
  
"Focus on the road, Jeno Lee."  
  
"Okay, but are you going to explain the excessive use of bracelets? Cause I'm sure as hell not about to pretend I didn't notice."  
  
Renjun sighs, glancing at his arms, his left adorned with an apple watch gifted by his cousin, Chenle and a couple of bracelets just in case. While the other side had about eight other leather bracelets. The boy is now realizing that he might have went overboard. But in his panic over people being able to read the names, he brought every black bracelet he came across in the airport.  
  
"It's called fashion."  
  
"Unless they replaced you with a clone that isn't sure how to behave as Huang Renjun, I hope you don't actually expect me to buy that."  
  
"Don't sass me." He retorts, adding when Jeno keeps on glancing at him still expecting an answer. "I just haven't come to terms with these darn names. Is that a good enough explanation?"  
  
This time when Jeno looks at him, he's frowning, his eyes swimming in worry. "Hey, I didn't mean to push you. I am sorry.” He apologizes, before focusing back on the road. “Take your time to accept the names and tell me whenever you feel like it."  
  
"Okay, thanks." The Chinese boy whispers sincerely.  
  
"And you can talk to me about it at any time. Without mentioning any names of course." Jeno adds, still very much concerned.  
  
"I know, Jeno." Renjun smiles, and even though it's barely there but it assures Jeno, because it's the first real smile he sees on his friend since he picked him up.  
  
It's silent except for the song coming from the radio for a moment, before Jeno blurts. "Hey, I hope I didn't pressure you even more with the Donghyuck thing."  
  
_'The Donghyuck thing'_, Renjun finds it so hard to fight the urge to scoff, not when the _whole_ thing is now about Donghyuck.  
  
"Don't worry about it." He manages to mutter instead.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The weekend passes by a flash, the spring break ending with it. Classes start right after, and with that Renjun discovers that Donghyuck is still adamant on avoiding him, he also discovers that the fact bothers him very much so now. He watches solemnly, as Donghyuck goes to sit in the farthest seat from him, never looking back, never glancing at him. Renjun only knows that because he stares at the back of his head the whole duration of their classes, and some more as Donghyuck makes his way out of the class.  
  
The guilt that once tickled Renjun’s heart, now overtakes every fiber of him, suffocating him whenever he either spots the name on his skin, or the owner of said name himself. And it's so hard to ignore that even Jeno notices, bringing it up on their <strike>ir</strike>regular grocery shopping trip, that Jeno keeps calling regular even after Renjun had already explained to him time and time how untrue that is.  
  
"I am not on edge." Renjun fires back at Jeno's 'outrageous' claim.  
  
"Yeah right. And I am shorter than you." Jeno reaches for the cereal box that his friend fails to reach, sticking his tongue playfully at a displeased Renjun.  
  
"Why do you always come for my height?” Renjun whines. “This is an abomination towards me and my fellow short kings."  
  
Jeno giggles, patting Renjun’s black hair, his hand sliding down and resting on his neck. "It's the only thing I know that has a 100% success rate of triggering you." He pauses, as if contemplating his next words, before deciding to add. "Besides a certain Donghyuck of course."  
  
Renjun tenses at the mention of his supposedly soulmate, nemesis, and whatever combo that makes. Jeno's expression morphs into one of worry when he feels Renjun stiffening under his touch. "Is he still avoiding you?" Renjun nods. "But I thought that stopped bothering you?"  
  
Renjun sighs deeply, going back to rolling their shopping cart, effectively getting Jeno’s arm off him and forcing the latter to follow with his pace. "So did I. But we thought wrong."  
  
"Well, why don't you just apologize?" Jeno suggests, rolling his eyes when Renjun gives him a scandalized look. "It's the most logical course of action!"  
  
"B-but.." Renjun pouts, aware that his friend’s statement is right, yet he can’t help but feel too prideful to apologize. "Why do you always choose the Nobel thing to do? I wish once you would tell me to break the rules, do crimes."  
  
Jeno laughs. "That's your job! One of us should be the rational one here."  
  
Renjun gasps in offense. "How dare you say that? I AM rational."  
  
"Mostly. But it seems like once it comes to Donghyuck, all your braincells seize to function."  
  
Renjun is rendered speechless, as he thinks of the way he has always treated Donghyuck, impulsively and driven by emotions. Never thinking before speaking nor trying to understand the other's intentions. "I wanna disagree. But-"  
  
"But you know I am right." Jeno smirks triumphally. "As always."  
  
Renjun rolls his eyes, pinching his friend's arm. " I wouldn't go that far."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Apologizing to Donghyuck turns out to be harder than Renjun thought, and it surprisingly has more to do with the fact that Donghyuck is avoiding him still rather than convincing himself that this is the right thing to do. The latter turned out to be not that hard of a thing to do, and once Renjun had his mind set, he wouldn’t back down; not even when Donghyuck doesn’t seem to want to look at him, let alone listen to him.  
  
Renjun never felt like a stalker like this moment, as he sneaks behind Donghyuck after their classes. Thankfully, no one reports Renjun for suspicious behavior, and his cover doesn't get blown before Donghyuck reach his destination. The latter takes place under one of the big trees, probably opting to nap between his classes. _Too bad for him_, Renjun thinks, adamant on talking to the boy, even on the expenses of the latter’s plans.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Donghyuck jumps at the unexpected sound, whipping his head up and looking at Renjun like a deer caught in a red light. "Are you stalking me?"  
  
"Why would you ask that?" Renjun feigns ignorance. "It's shouldn't be hard to spot you on campus. Unless you were deliberately making sure I don't find you."  
  
The boy somehow looks guilty, taken back and upset all at once and Renjun isn't sure he can deal with any of that. "I wasn't avoiding you."  
  
Renjun snickers. "I didn't say you were."  
  
Donghyuck frowns. "But you were insinuating it."  
  
Renjun opens his mouth to retort, Donghyuck giving him a challenging look, ready to strike back. But then he remembers why he's here in the first place and sighs, flopping on the ground besides Donghyuck, much to the other's displease. "Look, I am not here to fight, or start anything."  
  
"You aren't?" The surprised tone Donghyuck uses is quite offending, but Renjun pretends he doesn't pick up on it.  
  
"Yeah. I just-'" he groans, running his hand through his black hair. "I want to apologize."  
  
Donghyuck tilts his head in confusion, furrowing his eyebrows in puzzlement. "What?"  
  
"I am sorry." Renjun finally says, and he wishes he was able to say that while looking directly at Donghyuck, making sure that the latter knows that he's being sincere. But his eyes involuntarily train to his fingers that are playing with his bracelets, finding Donghyuck’s gaze too strong to hold to. "I didn't realize it on the moment, and I didn't mean to, but I am sorry for hurting you last time."  
  
Donghyuck purses his lips. "Are you sorry because you didn't mean what you said or didn't mean to hurt me by what you said?"  
  
The words, albeit said softly, serve as a slap to the face. Renjun sits speechless, thinking through what he can say to such a question, but Donghyuck seems to find the silence an answer in itself. "You don't have to look that conflicted, I already know you hate me, you made it clear last time. But I appreciate the apology, even though its unnecessary. I mean you shouldn't apologize for how you feel, Renjun."  
  
"I know, but I just-" Renjun hates how Donghyuck keeps making him speechless. "I assumed you knew that and that you felt the same. I wouldn't have said it otherwise," he mutters, adding when he feels as if the letters on his skin are burning. "Plus, I don't hate you per se. You were just getting on my nerves. As I probably do for you too."  
  
"You don't get on my nerves."  
  
Donghyuck’s words and the bashful look in his face pierce right through Renjun’s heart. "Oh."  
  
Donghyuck chuckles, but it's devoid of any humor. "Yeah, oh."  
  
The air between them is thick, the tension weighing on Renjun’s shoulders, as he goes back to fumbling with his bracelets. Donghyuck eyes follow his hands, raising his eyebrow at the sight but saying nothing. "You can ask."  
  
"Really?" Donghyuck looks at him with big hopefully eyes making him regret trying to lighten the mood with another stupid joke of his.  
  
"Y-yeah, but I won't answer." Renjun tries not to giggle at the way Donghyuck’s smile falls and the pout that replaces it. "Am I getting on your nerves yet?"  
  
Donghyuck rolls his eyes. "You really need more than that to get to me Huang Renjun."  
  
"Brave coming from someone who avoided me weeks if not months over an 'I hate you'."  
  
"Too soon." Donghyuck sulks.  
  
"You're too sensitive."  
  
"Yeah," Donghyuck huffs. "I am baby."  
  
Instead of feeling annoyed like he usually is by Donghyuck’s childish antics, Renjun feels somewhat endeared, fighting the urge to pinch the other's puffed cheeks. "At least you're self-aware of your mental age."  
  
"I thought you weren't here to fight." Donghyuck comments, watching the way Renjun adjusts his body so he's sitting more comfortably. "I also thought you're here to apologize, so I don't understand why you're still here."  
  
Renjun chuckles sheepishly. "This is such a great spot to rest. And I am too tired to find somewhere else to stay before our next class. Especially after following-" he coughs nervously. "Searching for you all around campus."  
  
"What's this?" Donghyuck exclaims with a smirk. "Was Huang Renjun really stalking me?"  
  
"Stop calling me by full name." He whines.  
  
"Why? Is it bothering you," Donghyuck grins slyly, chuckling over the way Renjun cringes over what's obviously coming. "Huang Renjun?"  
  
Renjun groans, throwing himself on the grass and resting his forearm over his eyes. He feels a shadow loom over him, and when he peaks over his arm, he's met with Donghyuck staring down at him with a mischievous grin. "Am I getting on your nerves now?"  
  
"Not yet." He mutters threateningly, pretending that he is just as unbothered by the new close proximity between them as Donghyuck seems to be.  
  
"That's great." Somehow his grin turns more genuine, as he joins Renjun on the grass. "Tell me when I do."  
  
Renjun glances at the boy, who stares at the sky with squinting eyes, the ghost of a smile dancing on his lips. Renjun doesn’t question it, opting to enjoy the comfortable silence between them and the nice weather.  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
"MOM, I MADE IT." Jeno screeches from somewhere.  
  
"SHUT THE FUCK UP." Renjun yells back, pressing his pillow over his head to drown out the sound of Jeno freaking out over whatever.  
  
"RENJUN." Jeno continues on his over excited screeching as he bursts into Renjun’s room, "YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS."  
  
Renjun throws his pillow and blanket off him, ready to strike Jeno for being such a nuisance so early in the morning, but then he sees Jeno's smile and how he looks to be over the moon, and in his sleepy daze Renjun remembers that it's his friend's birthday, and suddenly he's wide awake. "Oh my god, Jeno, who is it? Who is it?"  
  
"No one." He exclaims happily, confusing Renjun who leaps from his bed and is by his friend's side in record time.  
  
"What do you mean no one?" He shrieks in shock, trying to reach for Jeno's left arm.  
  
"It's blank." Jeno explains, showing Renjun his right wrist, which is indeed empty.  
  
Renjun stares at if for a moment before smacking Jeno's head. "I thought you didn't have a soulmate."  
  
"Of course I do." He proudly exclaims, and Renjun still hasn't seen Jeno's eyes with the way he keeps grinning widely, eyes turning into crescents in a very Jeno fashion way. "It's Jaemin."  
  
Renjun sags back in relief, grateful that unlike him, Jeno’s soulmate is indeed his long-term boyfriend. “That should have been the first thing to tell me."  
  
"I thought it was obviously." Jeno giggles. "Plus, I was more concerned with who I am destined to loath. You know I didn't fancy that idea."  
  
Renjun rolls his eyes, yet he still pulls his roommate for a hug, his arms circling around his waist, because even in such moments Renjun is mindful about hiding his wrists. "Well if Jaemin being your soulmate was obvious for you, then so should be ‘not having an enemy'. You're too lovable for that."  
  
  
Jeno coos, hugging Renjun tighter that he pulls him off the ground. "I am so happy."  
  
A laugh bubbles its way out of Renjun. "I am happy for you too."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Hanging out with Donghyuck becomes something that Renjun does quite often, the latter trying to get to know the person that he's destined to somehow love and hate the most. Donghyuck doesn't seem to mind Renjun’s company, or rather welcomes it. Renjun disguises his sudden and reoccurring presence to the liking he took for the spot under that one tree, which isn't a total lie. And Donghyuck, to Renjun’s relief, doesn't question him further, accepting the excuse as it is.  
  
"My roommate's nemesis' name is in Chinese." Donghyuck says through a mouthful during one of their lunch breaks. Renjun grimaces in disgust, the gesture getting ignored by Donghyuck. "It's so funny watching him try to figure it out."  
  
"That's sounds tough. Maybe I should read it for him." Renjun offers.  
  
"Oh my god, please no. Don't take something great and ruin it for me." Donghyuck complains, unconsciously giving Renjun puppy eyes.  
  
"And what would I get out of it?" Renjun suppresses a smile at the other boy's look of betrayal, finding it funny how neither mentions how Renjun barely knows Donghyuck’s roommate and has no reason to talk to him if not for Donghyuck.  
  
"My gratitude and appreciation?"  
  
Renjun scoffs. "Lame."  
  
"You're so mean."  
  
"Oh, I know. I am no Lee my-right-wrist-is-blank-cause-I-am-a-literal-angel Jeno."  
  
Donghyuck pauses mid bite, comically raising his gaze from his sandwich to Renjun. "Jeno doesn't have a nemesis? That's possible?"  
  
"Yeah. Turns out a lot is possible." Renjun exclaims, thinking of his own situation, or rather their situation. He unconsciously starts fumbling with his bracelets again.  
  
"Oh."  
  
Donghyuck doesn't say much after that. And as much as Renjun tries to think of it, replay their whole conversation in his head, he still can't comprehend the mood switch. He knows something about Jeno not having a nemesis triggered him, but Renjun couldn't figure for the life of him why would that be.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Jen."  
  
It's a movie night at the Renjun and Jeno dorm, and usually Renjun would be focused on the screen by now, but his thoughts are all over the place, effectively distracting him. Jeno doesn't seem immersed in the movie either, checking his phone every now and then, probably texting Jaemin. So Renjun doesn't feel so guilty for interrupting him from watching.  
  
"Yeah?" Jeno lowers the TV's volume, instinctively knowing that Renjun is about to hit him with something serious.  
  
"You know how a lot is possible with this soulmate and nemesis ordeal?" He continues when Jeno nods. "So, what if the names that appear on your wrists are the same? Do you know anything about that?"  
  
"Not much, but yeah." Jeno answers, surprising Renjun. "I read about it once."  
  
Renjun leans forward, intrigued with what Jeno knows, failing miserably with hiding his immense interest. "And what did you read?"  
  
Jeno tries not to smile amusedly at his friend, sticking to the oblivious part he's playing. "It only happens when two people have very strong and sometimes different personalities, and the intensity and differences either make them really compatible or each other's worst nightmare."  
  
Renjun frowns, because at one point he did think Donghyuck was his worst nightmare. But he doesn't anymore, and that must mean something. Or so he hopes. "Do they have a choice on how it turns out though? Or once they hate each other then that's their fate?"  
  
"Of course they can choose. They just need to work on their differences and try to see eye to eye. I believe if they achieve that then their bond can be stronger than any other soulmates’."  
  
Jeno raises the TV's volume back up, signaling the end of the conversation. Giving Renjun the chance to soak all of his words in and think them through. Also hoping that the latter understands that Jeno doesn't expect him to explain why he is asking such questions, and that he can open up to him at his own pace.  
  
Renjun takes the hint, retreating back to his room deep in thought. He didn't expect Jeno to know anything about his situation, let alone explain to him things that help him ease his mind. Renjun has thought that he and Donghyuck were doomed with a failed relationship. At, he didn't even think their friendship can last. Reason why he never explicitly said to Donghyuck that he wanted to be friends, but rather just continuously appeared by the other’s side until Donghyuck started expecting his appearance.  
  
What also relieved Renjun, is the fact that he already was trying to work through whatever conflict he had with Donghyuck. And that seems to be good enough for now, even though he can't predict how would Donghyuck react to this once he finds out, at least Renjun is doing his part.

But to say that Renjun isn't scared of the day Donghyuck finds out would be a lie, he just has learnt to suppress the fear and anxiety quite well.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"It smells good in here." Jeno exclaims at he enters the kitchen the next morning, eyes barely open and hair all over the place.  
  
Renjun glances back at him, stifling a laugh at his friend's state. "Yeah, I am making pancakes."  
  
"Ooh." Jeno cheers. "What's the occasion?"  
  
"Nothing. Just wanted to treat my best friend."  
  
Jeno giggles. "Sounds fake but I'll take it."  
  
Renjun rolls his eyes. "Just go wash up then come take a seat. I'll be done by then."  
  
"Yes sir." Jeno screams making Renjun laugh, unable to comprehend how Jeno can be so energetic so early in the morning. It really feels like living with an overexcited, overgrown puppy most of the time.  
  
  
It's not long after that Jeno appears again, taking a seat at their kitchen table, and watching Renjun set the table. And it's only when Renjun places Jeno's mug in front of him that Jeno notices his wrists, and the lack of bracelets there. What surprises him more is the fact that Renjun is wearing a short-sleeved tee and seems to be elaborately showcasing the names on his wrists, rather than doing everything to hide them like he's used to.  
  
"Jun." Jeno calls softly, eyes going from the 'Lee Donghyuck' clear on his friend’s skin to his face. Renjun only smiles, and when Jeno glances at Renjun’s other hand that's holding the plate of pancakes he isn't as surprised when he finds a matching 'Lee Donghyuck' there. He wordlessly averts his eyes back to Renjun, who rolls his at him.  
  
"Stop looking me like that." Renjun whines. "It's not that deep."  
  
"It is." Jeno exclaims, standing from his place and crushing Renjun in a hug.  
  
"Aah stop." Renjun wails, clutching the plate of pancakes tighter. "I could have Jopped my croissant."  
  
"Don't be dramatic." Jeno only hugs him tighter. "This is a historical moment. I couldn't care about the food when injunnie just fully trusted me with the one thing he has been hiding for over a month."  
  
"Now who's being dramatic?" Renjun is saying but his voice has taken on a soft lilt, as he places the plate on the table so he can hug Jeno back, enjoying the warmth and the fresh soapy smell coming from the latter.  
  
"I have every right to." Jeno starts rocking them back and forth, laughing along Renjun who starts giggling. He then pulls back a little, looking at Renjun. "But in all seriousness, I am really proud of you."  
  
Renjun feels choked up at the words, so he hides his face back on the crook of Jeno's neck, muttering a small "thank you." against the other's skin. The latter pats his hair softly in response.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Donghyuck goes back to his normal self soon after that weird accident, when they talked about Jeno. So Renjun doesn't bring it up again. But as Donghyuck’s 21st birthday approaches, he starts falling into that same quiet state, closing off himself more and more each day. And it scares Renjun, the fear and anxiety that he bottled up trying to slip through the seams, Donghyuck’s state and nearing birthday cracking his resolve. Especially that Renjun isn’t ready to give up on the blooming friendship he developed with Donghyuck just yet, not after having a little taste of what it feels like to be close to him.

  
So Renjun tries, aware that to make things work for him and Donghyuck he needs to put on the effort, rather than blindly believe in faith and that things will magically work out.  
  
"Are you free later?" Renjun asks when it nears the end of their last class.  
  
Donghyuck turns to look at him in question, as if not believing the question is addressed to him. "Yeah? Why?"  
  
Renjun smiles, hoping he looks genuine and not as nervous and hesitant as he feels. "Wanna grab something to eat? My treat."  
  
"You wanna hang out with me?" Donghyuck questions dumbfoundedly.  
  
"Of course. Don’t we do that on a regular basis now?" Renjun questions, confused on why Donghyuck still looks at him as if he grew a second head.  
  
"Yeah, but now you want to hang out with me after classes, outside of campus, voluntarily. It doesn't add up."  
  
"How so? What's so weird about that?"  
  
Donghyuck looks down, breaking eye contact in favor of staring at his notes. "I don't know, hanging out in campus seems like something you would do out of convenience or maybe guilt. But going out of your way just to hang out with me doesn't sound like a ‘you’ thing to do."  
  
"Huh." Renjun is surprised that Donghyuck thinks of him that way, but he can't blame him, not when Renjun has been so vague and inconsistent towards the other boy. It still makes him feel bad, nonetheless. "I am sorry for giving you that impression. But that's the farthest from reality a statement could ever be."  
  
The look Donghyuck gives him is devastating, and it's so vulnerable that Renjun has this weird urge to stand up and pull him for hug. He manages to suppress that urge though, as he asks. "So are you in? We can talk about how wrong you are somewhere better than here."  
  
Donghyuck nods, cracking the smallest of smiles, but it's enough to reassure Renjun. "Okay."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
They go to a cafe nearby, and Renjun orders for both of them as Donghyuck goes to choose a table. Once Renjun has ordered and is sat in front of Donghyuck, he starts second guessing this outing. Suddenly not knowing how to act. Donghyuck picks up on that, giggling at the fidgeting boy.  
  
"You're regretting this already?" He jokes.  
  
Renjun, trapped in his head doesn't realize Donghyuck is joking. "What? Of course not." He exclaims loudly. "You shouldn't keep on expecting the worse from me. I am just-"  
  
"Hey, hey," Donghyuck cuts Renjun’s outrage. "I was just joking." He smiles at how relieved Renjun looks by that. "You're so dramatic."  
  
"Says you."  
  
Donghyuck gasps. "What does that suppose to mean?"  
  
Renjun shrugs, smiling politely at the waiter that comes with their orders. Donghyuck’s eyes light up at the sight of the sweet drink and cakes that gets places in front of him, warming Renjun’s heart.  
  
They dig in, Donghyuck exclaiming that he has been craving something sweet while Renjun lectures him over how messy he is being, even though he finds it endearing. And somewhere between their chatter Donghyuck brings up how absurd this is, and Renjun doesn't like how he looks at him as if he believes Renjun is plotting something.  
  
"Listen. I told you I genuinely wanted to hang out with you. I don't know why you're being so suspicious of me."  
  
"It's just weird, okay? Just recently you hated my guts, and now you're treating me with your own money. This makes no cents, luv."  
  
"Okay maybe that reference will make me regret this." Renjun laughs at Donghyuck’s pout, quickly adding. "Joking, joking. But in all honesty, my hatred wasn't very justified, I was just being oversensitive. But I don't feel that way anymore, so you better not think I am doing this out of guilt or whatever the fuck. I-" Renjun cuts his words short.  
  
"You?" Donghyuck pushes, eyes boring holes into Renjun as if his gaze alone will make him talk. And it does.  
  
"I wanted to brighten your mood, since you looked down these days."  
  
It's so silent after that, so silent that Renjun doesn't dare to breathe. Donghyuck looks at him with an unexplainable gaze, his eyes slowly turning red and teary.  
  
"Wait, oh my god. Did I say something wrong again?" Renjun worriedly asks, contemplating going to sit beside Donghyuck, and do something to comfort him. But he doesn’t go there, not when he doesn’t even know what he would have done once beside the other boy.   
  
"No, no," Donghyuck wipes at his eyes, blinking the tears away. "I didn't think anyone would notice or care. Especially not you. So, I am touched. That's all."  
  
Renjun frowns, upset but unsure over who or what. "Why were you down though? If it's okay to ask."  
  
Donghyuck sighs, eyes down casted. "It's stupid."  
  
"I don't think it's that stupid if it's affecting you." Renjun purses his lips. "Please don't downplay your emotions."  
  
"Yeah, okay," Donghyuck sighs, attempting to collect his thoughts. "I don't think you want to listen to this shit show though."  
  
"Oh my god. What did I just say?"  
  
"Sorry, sorry." Donghyuck sheepishly apologizes. "But you have been warned." He continues when Renjun gestures for him to start speaking already. "So, I argued with my younger sibling recently. It wasn't that deep at first, honestly. I don't even remember what it was about in the first place. But then one thing lead to another and we were both spitting insults at each other. And enraged, he told me I am so unlovable he bet I don't even have a soulmate."  
  
Renjun freezes at the mention of Donghyuck’s soulmate, feeling like a criminal facing a police officer and risking trying to play the innocent part so hard that it makes him suspicious. But Donghyuck is too into his emotions to take notice, as he continues on his monologue.  
  
"And as much as that hurt, I didn't give it much thought since I assumed that it's impossible. But now with what you told me about Jeno, it's pretty much possible, you know? The universe must have not found someone capable to tolerate me for the rest of my life, let alone be in love with me."  
  
"I am sure that that person exists." Renjun starts to say, biting down his tongue so he doesn't tell Donghyuck that his soulmate exists and is sitting right in front of him. "Even as someone who didn't like you-"  
  
"Hated." Donghyuck quickly butted in, chuckling slyly when Renjun gives him a fake glare.  
  
"-hated you, I still can assure you that you're quite loveable, and there's a soulmate out there for you." _Or right about here_, Renjun doesn’t say.  
  
Donghyuck nods in agreement but doesn't look quite convinced. He keeps boring holes into Renjun’s wrists, making him uncomfortable and paranoid that he pulls his sleeves down self-consciously. "You know what's scaring even more than not having a soulmate?" Donghyuck averts his eyes back to Renjun, who gulps, unsure if he wants to hear the answer. "Having a soulmate that's disappointed that I'm theirs."  
  
  
Renjun freezes, the words piercing right through his heart. A small part of his mind wonders if Donghyuck knows that he's Renjun’s soulmate and this is part of his huge scheme to get back at him. But it's hard to believe that when Donghyuck looks at him with eyes full of vulnerability and self-doubt. "I-I don't think that's possible." Renjun offers quietly, his stomach churning at the way Donghyuck smiles at him sadly.  
  
He glances yet again at Renjun’s covered wrists. "Quite hypocritical of you to say."  
  
Renjun laughs anxiously, pulling at the threads of his sleeves and hoping Donghyuck would stop glancing at his hands. "Look, you might be right. But it's not as black and white as you think."  
  
"Elaborate please."  
  
Renjun doesn't want to elaborate, and he is already set on changing the subject, but the way Donghyuck’s gaze seems to be begging Renjun to help him understand makes the latter's resolve dissolve. "You see, when you think your soulmate is someone you're destined to end up with, someone the universe chose for you, as romantic as that sounds in theory, it gives you so much pressure. Pressure you are feeling and pressure I felt. It's the pressure of believing and accepting the choice made for you and following the mold of finding your soulmate and falling in love with them and running off into the sunset." Renjun smiles when Donghyuck laughs at that.  
  
"But," he continues, "my experience made me change that mindset, because these names just indicate who ultimately works best for you and who doesn't, they are there to guide us to people we might have not found our way to, and not force us into something we might not want at the moment." Renjun sighs. "I am going off track, but what I am trying to get to is that even if your soulmate or you were disappointed by the names, it's not the end of the world, and it happens. You might come to realize you had it wrong at some point, and you might not, and that's also fine. Just go on your own pace and don't force yourself into anything you don't want to. Cause as much as it doesn't seem like it sometimes, the universe cares, and this whole system, as twisted as it seems, is only here to help us, so might as well make the best of it."  
  
Renjun suddenly feels regretful for his long mantra, hoping he hasn't overwhelmed Donghyuck, or said anything he shouldn't have said. The look on Donghyuck’s face doesn't tell him anything of what the latter is thinking, as Donghyuck seem to be digesting and going over Renjun’s words.  
  
After a while Donghyuck asks quietly. "And you still didn't accept it?"  
  
Renjun glances down at his arms, smiling softly at the thought of Donghyuck’s name on his skin. "No, I did accept it."  
  
"Oh." Donghyuck mutters in surprise, not having expected that answer. "So why do you still cover the names?"  
  
Renjun sighs, hoping Donghyuck can't pick up on the way he is staring at him wistfully. "I don't think the owner of the name is ready yet, so I guess I am buying both of us time."  
  
"I see." Donghyuck says even though he seems like he has more to ask, especially on why Renjun only mentions one name when he is hiding two.  
  
The rest of their outing is less tensed, and Renjun is pleased and also proud of himself when he notices how Donghyuck’s mood seems to be way better. As he wipes some of the whipped cream from his drink on Renjun’s cheek, and Renjun can't even find it in himself to get mad when Donghyuck laughs loudly, something Renjun hasn't witnessed in a while, and can admit to missing.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Both the hot weather and Donghyuck’s birthday sneak up on Renjun without his realization. With Donghyuck’s cheerful mood back and their new and blossoming friendship, Renjun has finally succeeded to push everything related to the names on his skin to the back of his mind. He still hides them though, but the lack of curious glances from Donghyuck makes him forget about that either. To the point where Jeno ends up reminding him of his bracelets, way too many times.  
  
Renjun isn't sure if he should be pleased with that period of peace when everything hits him full force the night of Donghyuck’s birthday. He lays on his bed, and instead of watching his wrists like he did back in China, while counting down to midnight, he watches his phone. He knows that Donghyuck might not even contact him, but he still waits, maybe even hopes, for what, he doesn’t know.

He falls asleep without his phone's screen ever lightning up. And even as he wakes up and scramble for his phone, he finds no notification from Donghyuck.  
  
Once in class, Renjun isn't sure how he feels anymore. The lack of sleep makes him feel numb and dazed, rather than anxious like he would have been. He stares at the door blankly, flinching whenever someone walks through it. His heart rate peaks when Donghyuck enters. He watches him solemnly at first, but his expression turns into one of confusion when Donghyuck casually seats himself besides Renjun, as usual. But today shouldn’t be usual, not in the slightest.

  
“Good morning,” Donghyuck greets chipperly, frowning when his eyes fall on Renjun’s puzzled and tired face. “What’s wrong?”

  
“N-nothing,” Renjun squeaks at first, but when Donghyuck shrugs to that and averts his attention to rampage through his bag, Renjun impulsively pulls at his elbow, diverting his gaze back to him. “Actually, it’s not nothing,” he blurts, biting down on his lip nervously.

  
Donghyuck’s furrows his eyebrows, worried eyes fixating on Renjun and spiking his nerves. “What is it then?”

  
“Umm,” Renjun purses his lips, big confused eyes blinking at Donghyuck. “Isn’t it your birthday today?”

  
“Oh yeah, it is,” Donghyuck exclaims excitedly, clapping his hands. “Why though? Did you get me a gift?”

  
Renjun curses silently. He was so deep in the thought that Donghyuck will want to have nothing to do with him once he finds out he is his soulmate, that he didn’t think of getting the other boy anything in the unlikely case of that not happening. “No, sorry.” Renjun feels like dying at the way Donghyuck’s expression falls. But he quickly remembers what this is about in the first place. “Do you have a soulmate, though? You know, since you were paranoid about that.”

  
“Ah, you’re worried about THAT.” Renjun nods affirmatively, Donghyuck’s nonchalant behavior confusing him more and more. “Don’t worry, injunnie. I do have a soulmate, his name is in Chinese though, so I still haven’t figured it out yet.”

  
Renjun eyes fall to Donghyuck’s hands that are stuffed in his jeans’ pockets. “Do you w-want me to read it for you?” Renjun hates himself for offering, can’t even begin to understand why his mouth had to do that, but it somehow sounded like the logical thing to say. Renjun still hopes, with all of his heart, that Donghyuck refuses, unable to even imagine having to read his own name to the latter.

  
Donghyuck’s eyes widen in panic, as if he wasn’t expecting Renjun’s to say that, which is understandable. “N-no, it’s fine. I don’t want to find out in the middle of class.”

  
Renjun tries not to sigh in relief audibly. “If you say so.”

  
“Yeah, I’ll figure it out somehow. Don’t worry about it.” Donghyuck smiles reassuringly, but the smile does the complete opposite of reassuring Renjun.

  
Renjun cracks a small smile, so small yet so hallow. “Okay.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The more Renjun thinks of Donghyuck’s recent behavior, the weirder it gets. It makes no sense for Donghyuck not to want to know the names on his skin. Yet it’s been weeks and he still claims that he hasn’t figured it out, while still not wanting Renjun to read it for him. And as much as Renjun tries to get the other to tell him why he doesn’t want Renjun to read it, Donghyuck stays adamant on not explaining. And through it all, Renjun doesn’t even remember that he doesn’t, in fact, want to read the names for Donghyuck.

  
  
"Jaemin wants to know when would you able to tutor him," Jeno says as he reads whatever Jaemin has texted him. "You know, with exams approaching and stuff."  
  
"I am so glad someone in your relationship is productive." Renjun comments, shaking his head at Jeno who has been playing video games the whole day, completely ignoring his notes and papers that Renjun has piled up on the coffee table, in hopes guilt will eat up at Jeno and he would at least read a word or two.  
  
"I meaan," Jeno smirks. "At least if I fail and get expelled, he can be my sugar daddy."  
  
Renjun pretends to gag, exaggerating it once Jeno wiggles his eyebrows at him. "You're disgusting."  
  
"Just you wait till you and Donghyuck become a thing. You're going to out disgust every couple ever."  
  
Renjun tries not to choke at the statement. "Me and Donghyuck? A thing?"  
  
Jeno shrugs. "Sooner or later. I know your situation is a bit different, but I see that you are getting along awfully well with him recently, so it's safe for me to assume that you chose against the hatred route."  
  
Renjun sighs, and Jeno watches him in a mixture of worry and confusion as he walks towards him and flops himself on the space besides him. "I thought the same, but it's been days if not weeks since his birthday and he still is acting oblivious." Jeno slings his arm around Renjun’s shoulder, who sags into his hold. "It's so frustrating and confusing, and with the exams coming up and then the summer break, I don’t know what to do anymore."  
  
"You know, recently I was thinking of this, but what if he knows?"  
  
Renjun feels his blood run cold just at the prospect. "What do you mean?" He still asks, as if he didn't understand what his friend is deluding to.  
  
"What if he knows it's you, Renjun." Jeno states blatantly, turning Renjun’s face so the latter stops avoiding his eyes. "It's a possibility. Google is a click away and you think he didn't try to figure out the letters on his skin? Curiosity isn't something one can ignore, and Donghyuck especially doesn't seem like someone who can live well with curiosity."  
  
Renjun stays silent, motionless almost, that it worries Jeno, who waves a hand in front of Renjun’s face. "A penny for your thoughts?"  
  
"It's just that I somehow didn't think of that, I was too busy worrying that maybe the Donghyuck on my wrists isn't even the Lee Donghyuck we know. And that Donghyuck might have even figured out his soulmate and didn't see the need to tell me. So yeah, the thought that he knows and is stuck in the same state as me, or maybe even waiting for me to do something about it, is something that didn't ever cross my mind."  
  
Jeno tries hard to suppress the grin trying to break into his face, but when Renjun raises his eyebrows at him in wonder, he snorts.  
  
"What's so funny?" Renjun hisses, trying to pull away from Jeno, who giggles into his hand quietly.  
  
"Nothing, nothing." He continues to laugh, nonetheless. "It's just cute how you were too busy worrying over Donghyuck not being your soulmate. We love a character development."  
  
"Hey, that's not it."  
  
"Yeah, right." Jeno rolls his eyes. "You can't trick me, Renjun. I know you better than you know yourself. You used to hate the thought of having Donghyuck’s name on your skin, let alone him being your soulmate. And now your biggest worry is that he might not be the soulmate that the universe, oh so sadly, forced on you."  
  
Renjun purses his lips silently, an indicator that Jeno has pretty much hit the nail on the head. It makes the younger laugh even more, hugging Renjun’s waist when the latter tries to escape him. "You can't even deny it, oh my god. This is adorable."  
  
"I am going to end you." Renjun seethes, but the rosy blush on his cheeks make it so nothing about his statement is threatening.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_  
We need to talk_  
  
Renjun sends Donghyuck that same night. The adrenaline rush from his prior conversation with Jeno pushing him to hit send without a second thought.

_Hello to you too dear friend!!!_

  
_I am serious hyuck  
When can we talk?__  
  
_

_Okay wow  
Right now I guess ?  
I am free  
I mean I shouldn't be, since i was trying to get some studying done but this is the perfect opportunity for some procrastinating, am I right?  
_

_Even through messages you're so talkative _

_  
Are you insulting me, Huang Renjun? D:  
_

_  
No, no  
I like it_

  
:D  
Where can we talk

  
_Dorm rooftop?  
_

_  
Romantic  
I like it ;)_

_  
  
You're unbelievable .._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hey," Renjun greets when he hears the rustling sound of the rooftop door opening. Donghyuck emerges from it, a shy smile on his lips that contradict the sly way he was texting Renjun in.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Renjun follows Donghyuck with his eyes until he's standing right beside him, his back resting on the railing where Renjun was pressed on earlier, watching the night view under him. They stay silent, Donghyuck’s eyes fixed on the constellations formed by the stars in the sky and Renjun’s fixed on the constellation formed by the moles on Donghyuck’s skin.  
  
"Aren't you going to talk?" Donghyuck questions, quietly but assertively, tilting his head slightly to look at Renjun.  
  
Renjun has already went through what to say, had a whole list of bullet points he had to hit. A long speech about his and Donghyuck’s twisted relationship, about his worries that keep on growing, but also reassurances that Donghyuck might need to hear. But all of that and more evaporate once he locks eyes with the boy in front of him, who never looked as beautiful.  
  
It doesn't make sense, not when Renjun has never seen Donghyuck look this stressed and exhausted. But something about the way Renjun has let his feelings for Donghyuck loose, made his soulmate look different. Something about the moment, the small distance between them and the way Donghyuck looks at him, made the latter look ethereal.  
  
And so Renjun, and without a second thought, blurts. "You're my soulmate." He then quickly adds. "I think."  
  
Instead of the shocked, betrayed and even confused look Renjun expected Donghyuck to give him, the latter smiles, shy but also mischievous and basically everything that Renjun came to like about him. "I know."  
  
The exact look that Renjun envisioned on Donghyuck, now paints his own face. "W-what? How?"  
  
"It's literally written here." Donghyuck explains simply, raising his hands to face Renjun, whose heart lodge on his throat at the sight of his name, in his native tongue, on both of Donghyuck’s wrists.  
  
"You said you couldn't figure it out." Renjun hates how his voice shakes, hates how he can't even begin to understand how he feels seeing his name on his soulmate's skin. "Since when do you know?"  
  
Donghyuck colors pretty shades of red, so bright Renjun can notice it even under the soft glow of the roof's yellow lamps. "Since like," he checks his phone. "Twenty minutes ago."  
  
Renjun is left flabbergasted, unable to tell if Donghyuck is playing with him or if he's just in a weird dream of his. "What do you mean twenty minutes ago? Weren't we texting then?"  
  
Donghyuck bites down on his lips nervously. "Yeah."  
  
"I am so confused." Renjun mutters under his breath, feeling a headache coming his way. "Can you explain to me slowly?"  
  
"Yeah, okay, okay." Donghyuck says reluctantly, looking embarrassed. "Where do I even start?"  
  
"How did you find out?"  
  
"Umm," Donghyuck averts his eyes from Renjun. "I googled how your name is written in Chinese, and it's identical to the names on my wrists. So, yeah."  
  
"W-what?" Renjun feels like a broken record with his question but he can't help feeling so confused and lost. "Why did you do that?"  
  
Renjun catches the way Donghyuck glances at the former's arms, and they are both surprised to see the lack of leather around his wrists. The sight pushes Donghyuck to continue. "This might sound insane, but recently I have been wondering how it would be if you were my soulmate. Maybe somewhere along the way of you befriending me, I started wishing for that, rather than just innocently wondering. Even though I was scared of it being true, since you seemed not to like your soulmate-“  
  
"I don't-"  
  
Donghyuck continues quickly. "I know now. You told me last time. So, my hope increased even more. And in my birthday night I was waiting excitedly for the name to appear. For your name to appear. But I totally forgot that if it is the case, then it would be in Chinese." Donghyuck laughs humorlessly at his own stupidity. "And I felt that googling your name to check if it yours or not would be unfair to my soulmate if it wasn't actually you.” He adds softly. “I honestly didn't want to feel disappointed to find out my soulmate isn’t you."  
  
"That's why you didn't want me to read it for you?" Renjun states more than asks, the situation slowly starting to make sense to him.  
  
"Yeah, I honestly don't know what I would have felt or done if you read a name that wasn't yours. But I also didn't want to put you in the situation where you had to read your own name, when you have been hiding mine for so long."  
  
"So why now?"  
  
"I was waiting for the tiniest hint from you," Donghyuck explains sheepishly. "So, the moment you asked to talk to me, I had to check. I couldn't wait anymore. I had to know before I face you."  
  
Renjun nods, but if it’s in understanding, he isn't sure. And they go back to stand there in silence. Until Donghyuck once again dares to break it. "Cat got your tongue?"  
  
Renjun whips his head his way to glare at him, but the grin on Donghyuck’s face soften his own gaze. "I am just overwhelmed." He finally admits. "I thought I'll be the one to drop a bomb at you. But Lee Donghyuck obviously had to pull a reverse card."  
  
"Hey, what does that supposed to mean?" Donghyuck whines with a huff.  
  
Renjun chuckles, and instead of just wanting to pinch the boy's cheek, he does it this time, cooing when Donghyuck only pouts more. "It just means that you're quite the character. And that’s a compliment." Donghyuck smiles in satisfaction at that. "But honestly, I came here expecting to either have you beat my ass, or to find out that the Lee Donghyuck on my wrists isn't even you and I am just one huge clown. But now that neither are happening, I don’t know what to do with myself."  
  
"Which outcome would have been worse though?" Donghyuck asks hesitantly.  
  
"Of course the latter," Renjun exclaims loudly, horrified that Donghyuck had to ask. "I can't even bear the thought of having someone be my soulmate that isn't you."  
  
Donghyuck grins so widely that his cheeks start hurting. It makes Renjun hide his face in his hands shyly. "You were the one googling my name so I don't know why I am the one embarrassed." Renjun says from behind his hands, yet he can't fight the blush creeping at his cheeks.  
  
"That's cause I'm shameless," Donghyuck claims proudly, trying to pry Renjun’s hands away from his face, who twists and turns to get away from him. And somehow through it all, Renjun ends up in Donghyuck’s arms, his back pressed to the latter's chest. And that's when Donghyuck is finally able to pull the other's hands away. And with Renjun’s hands in his, he gets the chance to see his name for the first time, bold and black, on the other boy's wrists. He grins widely at that, a small giggle escaping him, the vibration making Renjun hum in question. "What's funny?"  
  
"Don't you think that it's ironic that I am now glad that you used to hate me? Because it means the universe somehow perceived us as enemies too, which also means that I get my name written on your skin twice. My name and my name only?"  
  
Renjun raises his head to look up at Donghyuck who's still grinning stupidly. "You're quite possessive, don't you think?"  
  
Donghyuck inches closer, pleased at the way Renjun’s breath hitches, and the way his eyes instinctively fall on Donghyuck’s lips. And in a moment of courage, he presses a small kiss to the corner of Renjun’s lips. "That's only because you're quite cute."

**Author's Note:**

> if you like it then you can harass me for bonuses cause I really want to write some! Plus I know that ending is very frustrating hihi  
The audiance want more Renhyuck, me included!!  
Anyways, thank you for reading ♡♡ comments are much appreciated  
love y'all
> 
> update: moved this to a diff account but it's the same old author :DD I am overwhelmed with the positive feedback and I appreciate you all so so much !! my motivation left me for over ten months.. as in since I wrote this, but it's back now so I will really try hard to make that bonus I promised you all of!! And I also have a noren brewing that will be posted here


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